Mess

Our lives are messy. Especially with an infant, but on a deeper level, too. I watched an awesome TED talk about vulnerability by Brene Brown and this quote hit me hard:

"When you hold those perfect little babies in your hands, our job is not to say, 'Look at her -- she's perfect! My job is just to keep her perfect and make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh grade.' That's not our job! Our job is to look and say,

'You know what? You are imperfect and you're wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging.'"

I think that's so important to remember for our babies and for us as parents. It's okay to make a mess. Speaking of mess, we started solids! We gave Graeme oatmeal mixed with breastmilk and it was like... MIND BLOWN! There is a whole new world of sensation and it's awesome. And no, he's not wearing a bib in these photos. We were just so excited to feed him, we forgot. Like I said, it's okay to make a mess.

To add a little more mess to this week, we got Graeme's first Christmas tree! It's a baby-sized tree, much smaller than what we usually get. Simple is better right now. We took an awfully cute little snowman with us to choose the perfect one. 

Olaf ain't got nothin' on him!

Funny (creepy?) photobomber!

Mischief

Favorite moment of the day: Going in the nursery to get Graeme when he wakes up.

Not-so-favorite moment: Seeing him propped up on all fours, rocking back and forth... we are so NOT ready for a crawler yet. (Santa, can you baby-proof our house for Christmas?)

New favorite moment: His giant, proud smile, followed by the most mischievous little eyebrow raise. Just one eyebrow, cocked up like "Hey Mom, you're in for it!" I'd pay money to go back in time and have a camera in my hands at that moment but alas, I have no proof of his adorable expression. 

I think his sneaky smile was really trying to tell me that we had an interesting day ahead. He generally refused to nap, but I was determined to get things done around the house. I never managed to get the Christmas decorations down from the attic, but I succeeded (yes, I'm playing it fast and loose with the word "succeeded") at making some yummy apple muffins. 

I started the recipe during one of his naps, but he woke up an hour earlier than expected. After he made it clear that spending more than a few minutes in his exersaucer would be torture, I strapped him to my chest in the Baby Bjorn. (Commence laughing at silly new mom now.)

In my haste, I decided that having him facing out would be a good idea to keep him entertained. Ha. Attempting to reach the mixing bowls, muffin tin, etc. with him on my chest made me feel like I had tiny T-Rex arms. Not a strong moment for mommy logic, I know. Putting the baby within easy reach of flour, eggs, and all the other ingredients -- maybe I have a tiny T-Rex brain to complete the package?!

Or maybe I'm just sleep deprived. It was wonderful seeing so much family over Thanksgiving, but getting the baby back in some semblance of a sleep schedule is a joke. In fact, I feel like I'm somehow jinxing myself right now by posting about this as he naps peacefully. I'm going to take advantage of any time I can get and put my T-Rex butt in gear.

Just so I don't anger the sleep gods, I'm going to post this photo of him sleeping like an angel during Trent's Veteran's Day gig. I never let him sleep on me anymore, so I was totally blissed out that day. And thrilled that my child slept silently through the entire church service. 

Reading and laughing

"Children are made readers on the laps of their parents." -Emilie Buchwald

... and grandparents! Here is Gigi reading with Graeme, although he seems more interested in eating the book than listening to the words.

He is growing and changing so much that he seems like a different little boy every time I go to pick him up out of his crib. I can't even keep track of the milestones. Just a couple of days ago, he started grabbing his toes... goodbye, cute baby socks. He loves to pull up to a standing position while holding our hands and has the most infectious laugh. Or maybe he's laughing because his mom sounds like a weirdo.

Photo blog

Not much time to type. Photos are cuter anyway.

A Walk in the Woods...

Soaring at the beach... (I did not add any effects to these photos! Awesome job, iPhone 4! Yes, I know my phone is old, but clearly it still works just fine.)

Grouchy at the beach...

Stylin' in mommy's sunglasses...

Beautiful sunset.

Baby Rock Star

Graeme was a ridiculously good sport while I snapped his photo a million times. He could have a career in baby modeling if I wouldn't be such a stage mom. His little mohawk has become so wispy it's hard to see in the photos, but it sure was easy to spike up just by spraying hairspray on my hands.

 

Love the baby bum in these jeans!

Uh oh, we're losing some clothes! I was almost able to catch him mid-squirm to capture "My Mummy Rocks" and the axe-wielding mummy. Too adorable!

Happy Halloween!

Pumpkins

Graeme's first pumpkin!

Love the baby-sized pumpkin that Grandpa Coach and Soosie got for him! We tried for a few family photos and got a few good ones! This was also his first time ever wearing shoes. Thanks to his Gigi for the dapper new outfit!

Thankful for Thirty

My original idea for this post was to list 30 things I'm thankful for. I don't think I'll make it that far, but it's the thought that counts, right? Besides, sometimes well-intentioned thankfulness posts on social media can turn into a brag-fests. This is just a quick reflection on my experience as a new mom and turning the big 3-0.

I'm thankful for my sweet husband who picked up a "delicious and non-nutritious" (his words) breakfast and brought it back home for me this morning. Biscuitville tastes even more delicious when your child wakes you up at the ass crack of dawn.

I'm thankful for mom friends, new and old. I have several long-time friends who already crossed the threshold into motherhood who have been incredibly supportive, from lending me maternity clothes to throwing baby showers and giving breastfeeding advice. You made me feel special and kept me sane. I wish I had helped you more in those first months with your little ones. My fellow new mom friends at Women's Hospital are amazing, too. Commiserating about sleepless nights and nipple pain really helps me feel less like a crazy hobo who hasn't showered in a couple of days. And they surprised me at our Baby and Me class with treats today! It just so happened that today's session was about nutrition, though. The instructor came to give me a handout but I had already picked one up at the door. I pointed to it and she said "Oh, I didn't see it there underneath that GIANT cookie." Save the guilt trip, lady. Wait until you see the even MORE giant cupcake I'm going to eat later. And I'm not even sorry.

I'm thankful for my parents for giving birth to me and taking care of me. There is just no way to know how much your parents sacrificed and cared for you until you are in their shoes. I get it now.

I'm thankful for Graeme's health. Figuring out to raise a semi-normal child is so difficult, I can't imagine how it would feel to be worried about a serious illness as well. At least once a week, Trent and I give each other a meaningful, wide-eyeballed glare and say, "man, this is really hard." And yes, we might also be inclined to add "that's what she said."

I'm thankful for Graeme's naps. They allow me a little (sometimes tiny) amount of time each day to something like a real grown-up, like eat lunch with two hands or type this post. Plus, they give me some time to miss him and forget just how adorable he is. Then when I pick up him again later, the cuteness overload helps me overlook some of the not so cute things he might do. I mean, I'm very glad that my life is completely different than it was a year ago, but I think it's healthy for moms to acknowledge a little bit of resentment. It's okay to miss your former life of going out to movies or not muffin-topping your way out of every nice pair of pants you own.

I'm thankful to be a stay-at-home mom. Sure, it has its drawbacks. We're poor. Living on two teacher salaries in our state is crazy. Living on one is certifiably insane. Plus, everyone says you'll miss adult interaction if you stay home, but I worked with children all day anyway! And now, I can pee whenever I want. Yes, teacher friends - be jealous.

Graeme at about 3 weeks old